i called in sick from life today. you were the only thing keeping me home.

i think you think i think you're crazy. i think i am. this is me wishing myself into the worst situation. but i'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go- ever. i am ready so scream tears of hate and sorrow. i am the cliche. i am sick of you. i can't ever fucking talk now and i blame it all on you. iloveyouihateyou.

the past is only the future with the lights on.

i am sick of seeing the same trees and cars and houses and hills and trees and signs and roads and lakes. i am sick of sitting in the same old air conditioning and hearing the same old radio stations and the same old whiny voices. my thoughts are so loud i can't hear myself or anyone else talk and the radio is blurred. maybe i just don't want to. i am always driving or moving or talking. i can't sit still. i don't know what home is anymore. i don't know if i ever did. i miss you so much already. it hasn't been that long though. fuck you and your whistleing. he shaves his armpits. she's holding a beer can. you tell everyone our story, especially the people who don't need to know. but you change the story everytime and it drives me fucking insane. i expect something and it turns out the polar opposite but never in my favor.

you didn't try hard enough. sell your soul.

i tried to get better but only got worse.
i'm not wishing anymore.
you seem to have only got it for a blink of an eye.
i think you just don't understand anything anymore.
i hope she was right in the future predicting, except only in some parts.
raw.
cold.
i am sick of the whiners and beggars though i am one myself.
there is no time for this to make sense.
(oh) i'm ready for (it) the act you put on.
come on, bring it.

hypothetically speaking

i shouldn't.

relatively speaking.
i do.

"we don't take hits, we write them"

"it's good to never know who you're really supposed to be, because if you were to know you would spend your whole life trying to be that person. and in the end you would be disappointed because you never ended up being exactly who you were 'supposed' to be, just what you never wanted to be."

it's all quotes and wishing on stars tonight.
i haven't watched the sunrise in a long time.
i wish you were here with me, watching it with me, sitting here with me.
i love you.

will you be able to tell me sorry with a straight face?

i refuse myself sleep because the more time i have to dream the farther away i become from reality.
i shake with regret and you are making me sick.
i'm staring back at the person i can't stand when i perfect my makeup.
i am the greatest lie known to man.
i am a figment to myself.
i thought there was an earthquake but it was just your shit rocking my mind.
the inspiration comes when the conscience calls in sick.
i notice the things you otherwise wouldn't want me to.
you read my mind like none of your business.
i didn't know you were as obsessed as i'd guessed.
i need the light of this screen to keep showing because there is only darkness that surronds me anymore.
give me hints of what i once was and what you've become.
the lies tickle my tongue as they pour from my mouth.
word vomit.
you almost wish you knew how it was gonna feel back then.
just leave me alone in that don't ever leave me kind of way.
you're not invited but i'm not stopping you.
numb yourself.
drowsy now from not being able to concentrate.
it's getting light out.
these words are plastered to my face.
i'm getting an ear infection from these words i don't want to hear which seems to be all the time now.
use up your shame.
you are the sanctuary i need that has given up on me.

sometimes i worry about you, kid.

i don't put any effort into this anymore- into you. kind of like how you forgot we existed, you know, but we were here the whole time. i'm pretty sure you realize us now though. we still love you in that car crash you can't look away from kind of way. 'first impressions they don't ever matter people never change'. i'm shaking now. you're like ecstasy in the way that i can't get enough of you. i wish we were still ok, like we were before all that mattered was undoing zippers and wishing for the worst. nostalgia is my cheapest enemy. strength is the only thing i haven't got. i kind of still wish on you, as a star. my eyes are brown because i'm so full of shit. 2*r.

we're losing control

i am thinking of things like missing people that only make sense in my head .. not even saying them outloud reminds me of what i originally thought.
i think we can make it through; if we're tough.
i'm sorry, corny.
if we could cuddle, would it be the same?
do you remember?
do i remember?
remind me why we never met.
remind me why we were always meant to be.

and goodnight

if you knew what i was thinking you would be ripping your hair out of your head.
please don't quit on me; on us.
lust at first sight is bullshit but so is love altogether.
i'm beginning to forget after you reminded me not to.
if we didn't pretend anymore, what would happen?
[don't] save me.

i almost don't get it anymore. kind of?

you seem so far away now. don't worry, i'm painfully aware of my mistakes. you are the epitome of confusion but in a way that its like black hopelessness. i stood there in your hometown and stared you right in the eyes as you stared right into my soul. if only for a minute you actually understood its ok. i think only now you get it. i think you got it all along but you never noticed. i was always right when i talked about your oblivion. i was always right when i talked about your obsession except maybe it was my obsession i was talking about the whole time but it happens to suit you too.

how many fall out boys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? none; they'd rather do it in the dark with smiles on their faces.

this is not how its supposed to end.
you caught my drift; good for you.
stop talking with touches and unmistakable ruins.
you are a run-on sentence in more ways than one.
everything we had is no longer there.

he said to me "i think you're worth it."

i said to him "i think you're crazy."

its thundering and lightning outside. pitter patter.

i am having a breakdown and noone knows. i noticed how you edited yourself but not until after you were obsessing over what you wrote because you couldn't help but wonder. you are pooh. we all know. this is my (kind of) life(style).

i need you here. i can't hold on.

i am raw.
i have no words.
i don't know you.
shut up. keep crying.
you don't make sense.
love is a lie, hate is a lifestyle.
boom. it's gone. don't miss this.
don't stop it before it begins.
afraid to lie, i still beLIEve you.
don't forget.
its not the same anymore.
i can't get through to you now. you are a train wreck.

open up your eyes, i wanna watch you cry.

i want you to be hurt. its like therapy that way.
don't block my path.
rant.
breakdown.
you are the curse.
don't pretend you don't care anymore.

rhetorical handshakes

i never understood y-intercepts. roadtrip.